What Do I Want?: The Fourth of Six Questions to Create the Blueprint for Your Life
This is the fourth of six articles detailing the core practice of my coaching business, Integrative Studio. In addition, you can find article one, “Who Am I?” here, article two, “What’s Going On?” here, and article three, “Who Surrounds Me?” here.
American actor, trainer, and author Uta Hagan created the system I learned as an actor for script analysis and character development. Her “Six Steps for Characterization” became my blueprint for personal life coaching.
I call it the Get Real System.
Life is a story, and we hold the pen.
After college, I began using this system to keep myself goal-oriented and purposeful in my work, hobbies, and relationships.
I have since adapted it to apply to life situations to help my clients get real with:
The circumstances they find themselves in (let’s call this the “world of the play”)
How they situate within them (let’s say as the “protagonist” of the play)
How they interact with others (let’s call them the “supporting players”) to get what they want in life.
I will go through these six questions over six articles to answer them for myself to model objectivity in evaluating life. I will invite you to do the same for each question.
Question 4:
What do I want?
What is my objective for the whole play?
What is my objective for the scene immediately?
Most people tend to get vague or too specific with this question. It’s so important to pan out as you get real with what you want in your life. Active verbs are the most critical part of how you answer this question. Grab a thesaurus and pick the verb that most lights you up as your truth!
What is my objective for my life? I want to effect positive change in the hearts and minds of everyone who experiences me, whether it is a personal or professional relationship.
What is the objective for this moment in my life? Here is where I examine what I wrote for Question 2—the moment of my life is three years post-divorce as a single mom. Therefore, I will look specifically at what I want at THIS TIME in my life, knowing that I will enter another time soon.
I want to build relationships with individuals who want to grow personally and professionally yet feel stuck in how to do so. They have tried self-help books and listened to great podcasts, but they need a coach to give them real talk, encouragement, and action items to move the needle closer to their best life.
The active verb for my whole life objective: to effect positive change
The active verb for my immediate circumstances: to build relationships
Perhaps now you can see why it is essential to be specific with your word choice! The clearer you are with your words, the clearer you are with yourself—you are KEEPING IT REAL!
You can also see how everything relates to the first question: Who am I? If you start to sense that parts of your life are out of alignment with the core of who you are, you are now aware of an area of life that needs change.
Now it’s your turn—What do you want? Be specific and active! You are not allowed to use passive verbs here! Do not say “to get” or “to be” anywhere!
Stay tuned for the fifth article in this series on the Get Real System, where I discuss question five: What are your obstacles?
Melissa Hurt is a personal development and communication coach with her Ph.D. in acting theory. She is the owner of Integrative Studio, where she teaches clients how to release stagnant energy holding them back from becoming their true selves. Get a free gift that starts you on your path to a bird’s-eye-view of your life so you can take action on the next best steps at www.melissahurt.com/opt-in-home.