The Complexities of Living an Honest Life...and the Liberation It Brings
One of my proudest achievements as an adult has nothing to do with degrees or books published.
It’s how I have worked to align my mind and heart by being completely real and honest with myself and others.
Since taking on a practice of radical honesty with myself and others, I have freed myself from webs of deception.
People know exactly where I stand and I ask to be honest with me.
Honesty is much more than telling the truth when asked a question.
Honesty is when you take the courage to dive into yourself, explore your heart’s true desires, and show up authentically.
Ask your heart: What do I really want in this one precious life?
Am I taking action toward it?
What do I need to learn to bridge the gap between intention and manifestation?
These questions are big, and life can complicate the alignment between your mind and your heart.
For instance, we might be conditioned in a family to think we want a particular quality of life, profession, or type of relationship dynamic.
I have had many students think they wanted to be doctors or lawyers because their families molded them into that mindset.
Once they got to college, however, they realized they wanted to do something more creative, such as graphic design or anatomical illustration (what a great way to use a degree in biology!).
Dare to challenge your conditioning. Explore new creative endeavors and hobbies to realize your true passions.
This spiritual ignition will inspire you to dig deeper into other areas of your life.
What impact do you want to make in the world? Do you want to keep your impact on your inner circle and be an amazing friend, family member, and/or community volunteer? Or do you envision making a much larger impact that brings social change?
Getting real with this will reveal what truly matters to you. You will discover your core values, which you can use as an inner compass for every choice you make.
Whenever an opportunity arises, ask yourself if taking action on it brings you closer to your truest self or further away. If it takes you away, then it is a dishonest choice and inauthentic to your heart.
This level of honesty requires bravery.
You might be purposefully steering away from the desires your family and friends want for you. They may call you “selfish” or “silly,” but these detractions are only revealing how threatened they are by you honoring your true path. Pay it no mind but hold compassion for them to find their truth.
Practicing honesty is also aligning your thoughts, words, and actions. It’s disingenuous to say one thing yet do something different. This will only create friction in your heart and in your relationships because people will stop trusting you.
You will create a fog in your life, steer yourself off your true path, and create resentment in your heart and relationships with others.
If you think unkind thoughts about a person or group, but act kindly towards them, you will become resentful of them.
Kindness and honesty must work as two sides of the same coin for true alignment of mind and heart.
Do you think unkind things about this person or group because something about them threatens your sense of self? Get real with that and realize the negative feelings you harbor have nothing to do with them.
You can either choose to think compassionate thoughts towards this person or group or you can practice indifference towards them.
Do the inner work to realize why you hold negative feelings and choose the best path from there.
The bigger work described above can come more easily with smaller acts of honesty throughout the day.
For instance, be honest with your hunger cues. Are you really hungry or are you thirsty? Are you feeling an emotion you want to escape with food?
Be honest about your needs in your relationships and verbalize them.
Be honest about safe limits for your exercise and movement explorations. Doing more than you can safely handle will be harmful to you!
And always be honest with your children. Be a model of kindness as you work with them. Honesty without compassion is cruelty.
Honesty and kindness must work together to heal your heart and brighten the light you shine.